Unlikely though it seems to be
The very mountains move,
Creating deserts in between
Without a thing to prove.
Against all odds it’s commonplace
That continents divide,
Just like my legs reveal a twat,
Though this thing’s twice as wide.
Now the sun’s an absentee,
The firmament’s abandoned.
Hearts that dare to wander free
In darkness end up saddened.
I thought that love would never go
And took each day as given.
They said each day (but who’s to know?)
Will bring a brightened heaven.
At night no stars resume their place
To draw their constellations.
Where once they traced a lover’s face
They now forego their stations.
So now I scry the evening sky
And squint to find what’s lost.
My hopeful gaze, a pricey lie.
A broken heart, its cost.
As Michelangelo could use
A ceiling as a canvas,
So we our vault, in azure hues,
Bespoiled with our advances.
We might have left it all alone
And spared it this affront.
We hung a sky that none would own
So you could feel my cunt.
As a genius denotes on a board with his chalk
The ways of the world, universally true,
Indisputably so as a key fits a lock,
As the pasture is green under skies that are blue,
As from nature we’ve scarcely deduced something new
Since neanderthals chipped living tools from the rock,
The logic is sound when a dame’s heard to coo,
“If you fuck my ass, you’ll get shit on your cock.”
As sure as an addict returns to his bock
When the lager is out and the cider is through
And the wine has been wasted and spilled on his smock,
The whiskey’s been quaffed and the gin is gone, too,
As drunken young men are more eager to woo
Just to wake a new person and take a new stock,
They’ll each have learned this as they tie on each shoe:
“If you fuck my ass, you’ll get shit on your cock.”
As each sailor’s mistress is left on the dock
As her paramour waves from the deck with his crew,
As her chest recites out her heart’s sobs with each knock,
As he takes to the sea what the sea can’t undo,
Never weep and don’t blush; retain your own hue.
He’ll scratch at the itch that’s in each of his pocks.
Recall the advice I’ve imparted to you:
“If he fucked your ass, he’s got shit on his cock.”
Protective as a fortress
All buttressed on its coast
And tempered by the shots that land from battleships that boast.
Within, as dark as midnight,
As if I’d closed my eyes,
A lifetime I could linger here as needful daylight dies.
Completely quiet inside,
As silent as the snow,
Save for the pitter-patter as I tiptoe to and fro.
Depression, o depression!
‘Tis thee, of thee I sing!
But also, now I think of it, this song’s for my va-jing.
By now he’s cilmbed another hill
And seen another town.
By now he’s torn another silken gown.
Just yesterday I called on him
And came he straight away.
Alas, by now, I can’t recall that day.
They say a love is gossamer,
A see-through filament.
They’ve said with time it heals where it was rent.
By now he’s snapped some other threads,
And watched their sad hearts drown.
His loss, I say. He never would go down.
Don’t let drunk men come on to you,
But dab it with seltzer in case that they do.
In time I’ll finish dinner and I’ll cross the floor to dance.
Perhaps tomorrow I can pen another of my rants.
In yet a week we’ll see if I can can muster up the strength
To slink into the theater and review a show at length.
Next month I can imagine some new prince may saunter in,
To find my heart in pieces so rebuilding can begin.
But then next year he’ll leave me and I’ll be alone anew.
I guess for now I’ll draw a bath and give myself a screw.
For heartbreak no bandage or pill does the trick,
There’s one thing that does, my dear. A dick.
I tried to stay awake all night and hoped you’d make it home.
I tried to stay awake all night; I slept.
I couldn’t read the letter that you’d written when you’d gone,
I couldn’t read because of how I’d wept.
I see you now in every constellation in the sky,
I steal my skyward glances like a thief.
I tried to be so quiet I could hear your journey home.
I tried to be so quiet, love. I queefed.
